Vegas.

Now Playing – “Waking up in Vegas” – Katy Perry

It began, ever so simply, on the plane. I was so engrossed in my newest book, “Something Borrowed,” (a rom-com of a novel that I had to have after watching the preview for the movie version coming out this summer), when I realized we hadn’t actually left the ground – we were still on the plane. Seconds later, there was a clatter of high-pitched screaming voices & a stampede of panting & high-heels coming from the aisle. It all happened so quickly. I looked up to see about five girls, lined up frantically in the aisle, flinging their bags around their shoulders, whipping their hair, pulling out their boarding passes trying to find their seats. At first, I couldn’t decipher what they were saying – because they were all collectively yelling & screaming together, forming one high-pitched, total valley girl-esque tune. The girls made their way to the back of the plane & struggled to get their bags in the overhead compartments, “accidentally” falling over into the cute boy’s lap who sat in the seat in front of me. One particular pretty brunette lowered her head down, giving us all a sly smile, and then started to babble about how the airline gave their seats away. “Omgosh, you wouldn’t believe it,” she exaggerated loudly, emphasizing every-last-syllable for the whole plane to hear.

Omgosh, what do you mean we’re not sitting together, bi$ches!”, one howled in the back. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh, but by this point, we were all pretty peeved. We were thirty-minutes behind schedule and I dreaded the thought of having to listen to their mousy voices for over 3 hours. Since they couldn’t get five seats together (shocker), three of them ended up sitting in the aisle across from me, one of which spent the majority of the flight leaned over her chair, twirling her hair, engrossed in conversation with same cute boy, who was, as we all later learned, headed to Vegas for his 21st birthday.  “Omgosh, we have to get your number and party together! Did you hear that girls, he’s turning 21!”

I really should’ve known what was coming next. The drink cart slowly inched its way towards us and as I ordered my diet coke, my new best friends ordered what seemed to be, every last possible bottle of liquor American Airlines had in stock. I turned around to smirk at my friend Betsey because we both knew what was coming. I was just beginning to tolerate the sound and stories of these girls, droning out their impressive voices telling story after story after story way too loudly. I didn’t want to think what they would be like all liquored up. And then, it happened. The one phrase that would soon, be uttered not only throughout the duration of the flight, but unknowingly for us, become our new catch phrase for the entire weekend. Perhaps it was a way to mock what had happened on the plane, or perhaps it was just funny to imitate the sound of five screaming girls, slumped over chairs, swinging their drinks together, yelling at the top of their lungs,

“CHEERS, BI$CHES!”

that's what you get for waking up in vegas.

 

In Vegas, even the airport is awesome. We arrived directly in front of a row of slot machines. Let me be more clear – we arrived in front of the Wheel of Fortune game, which, for Robz (aka : mamabytes) is her downfall. I immediately saw the twinkle in her eye, which for a moment, turned from twinkle to pure, unadulterated, madness – similar to Natalie Portman’s oscar-winning performance in Black Swan. I lugged my bags over to the machine, motioned for Betsey and Jane (one of my mom’s oldest friends – and birthday girl – hence, the trip to vegas) to head over, indicating we might here for awhile. Fifty losing dollars later, we pried her away and hopped in a cab to our home for the next three days, the Venetian.

What I really came to love about Vegas is how outrageous everything is. For starters, the hotels. I mean, my god, there is an entire world inside each of those bad boys. Stepping into the Venetian (or shall I say, Venice, Italy) was like every hotel I’ve ever been to, but a thousand times bigger, better and over the top. One of the downfalls of staying in a massive-sized hotel is, you can get a little lost finding your rooms. Or in our case, very, very, very lost. To really exemplify this, I’m going to share my text messages to Betsey at 5:30 am on Saturday, technically Sunday morning, as I stumbled and attempted to find my way back to our room.

Betsey – “Where are you?” /  Me– “Sh*t. We are tenth floor then fifth?” /  Betsey– “4th” Me– “Walking by the weird bridge. Then elevator to 4th floor? / Betsey– “Yup” / Me– F#ck. We’re lost. It’s 422 right?” Me– “5422 right??!?????” Betsey– “4522. No, 4522!!! / Me– “Omggggg we are so lost, be there soon I think”

The next morning, as I tried to explain that it seriously took me an hour to find our room, my mom confessed she did hear a voice (apparently, my very distinct voice) yell, “OH MY GOD,” right outside our door. My guess? I probably tried to insert my key into the wrong door, I got flustered, left & tried again. She then told me she heard me come in to the room forty five minutes later. Whoops. That’s what a night in Vegas will do to a gal – well, that and about five raspberry martini’s.

Now, seriously, many more exciting things happened in Vegas this weekend. But since I’d rather not confess to the blog world / my readers, how intoxicated I got, gambled away all my money, rode in a limo with a bunch of guys from Arkansas, one of whom told me I should definitely not name my restaurant, “allanabytes, ya’ll,” I’ll just get to good, blog-worthy, food stuff. But if you’re a friend of mine and really want to know what happened, give me a call – we’ll meet up & I’ll give you the deetz – because really, what happens in vegas, stays in vegas. Except for my new “life strength” bands & the pounds I probably packed eating my life away, in search of celebrities.

Besides cupcakes & celebs, these non-pareils/sprinkles are my all time favorite. Seriously. Way to win my heart? Buy me a ton of these bad boys.
Totally worth $1. It's VEGAS! Cheers, bi$ches!

Anyone headed to Vegas soon? Don’t miss Tao – an unreal asian restaurant in the Venetian & the Elvis Cirque show. As fascinated as I am with celebrities, the next best thing might be the crazy acrobat’s flying up and down set to Elvis music. Or the spicy Lobster rolls at Tao.

Vegetable dumplings at Tao - truly, one of the best things I have ever eaten.
Wasabi crusted steak & beer-battered onion rings
Wasabi crusted steak & beer-battered onion rings
Miso-glazed salmon at Tao
Miso-glazed salmon at Tao
I wanted to properly thank him for putting on such a great show

After waking up on Saturday morning, in a Tao-induced coma (their nightclub above was just as bomb as the restaurant), I really couldn’t imagine eating anything else at the moment. But, I really had to prepare myself – we were eating at Tom Colicchio’s restaurant craft steakhouse for dinner and I was so ready to not only meet Tom himself (In my dreams, I would introduce myself as one of the biggest Top Chef fans ever) but try his food as well. After watching him sweat it out in a quickfire on the show this past season, I no longer thought of him as just Top Chef judge – but Top Chef judge/ chef extraordinaire! Let’s just say – my musings on Tom require an entire new post. Tom, this next one is for you.


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